Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Thoughts from the heart

I didn't know whether I should write this post or not. Then I thought if I get these thoughts written dowm then I can put them in perspective and not worry about them till I know for sure. Ever since I went and saw the neuro doctor it's been bugging me. She kept asking specific things and not telling me what she was thinking. She then booked n mri scan and a load of other tests. I then had to see my own doctor to get signed off sick. He already had a letter from neuro. They only normally send letters after the results. Whilst I was telling him about work he said well at least with your other condition it is seen as a "real" illness. I chickened out of actually asking what condition. Not knowing has been bugging me ever since! Yesterday I decided to put all the questions and answers together. I know before you say it, I don't know for sure and they don't till they get the results. I just need to get it out of my head so I can stop worrying. I think they think I have m.s.

A few things brought me to this conclusion. The cfs specialist went straight to saying he didn't think the nerve and migraine problems weren't to do with my cfs n that the nerve damage is probably permenant. Then in my neuro apoinment she kept asking if I have problems with my bladder n asked me to do things like puff up my cheeks n walk in a straight line one foot in front of the other. Put that together with what my doctor said n it makes sense.

I'm going to try and not worry about it. I will if it's true just deal with it. What will happen will happen and I'll deal with it if it does. In some ways it may help with work n that if I have. I don't know I'll just have to wait and see.

Sorry for waffling on! I just needed to get the thoughts out of my head to stop worrying about them.

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