Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Thoughts from the heart

I didn't know whether I should write this post or not. Then I thought if I get these thoughts written dowm then I can put them in perspective and not worry about them till I know for sure. Ever since I went and saw the neuro doctor it's been bugging me. She kept asking specific things and not telling me what she was thinking. She then booked n mri scan and a load of other tests. I then had to see my own doctor to get signed off sick. He already had a letter from neuro. They only normally send letters after the results. Whilst I was telling him about work he said well at least with your other condition it is seen as a "real" illness. I chickened out of actually asking what condition. Not knowing has been bugging me ever since! Yesterday I decided to put all the questions and answers together. I know before you say it, I don't know for sure and they don't till they get the results. I just need to get it out of my head so I can stop worrying. I think they think I have m.s.

A few things brought me to this conclusion. The cfs specialist went straight to saying he didn't think the nerve and migraine problems weren't to do with my cfs n that the nerve damage is probably permenant. Then in my neuro apoinment she kept asking if I have problems with my bladder n asked me to do things like puff up my cheeks n walk in a straight line one foot in front of the other. Put that together with what my doctor said n it makes sense.

I'm going to try and not worry about it. I will if it's true just deal with it. What will happen will happen and I'll deal with it if it does. In some ways it may help with work n that if I have. I don't know I'll just have to wait and see.

Sorry for waffling on! I just needed to get the thoughts out of my head to stop worrying about them.

Reactions:

10 comments:

  1. Don't you just love these blog hops where we get to find and meet new blog friends? Glad I found you. I'm a new follower and I would love if you stopped by and followed back, so we can stay connected. Lori

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  2. I can understand why you would worry. O_O But as you said: No need to worry unnecessarily. Wait and see. And even if your worst fears are realized...you can handle that too. One day at a time...just like everyone else does, no matter what the day or the problem. You're not alone. And you can be a light to someone else with your open conversation about it. Keep your head up and your 'worry meter' on low. :-]

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  3. Thank you for honestly sharing your fears. You are wise to write it down. '
    Sending you a hug (( Susan)) while you wait.
    Thank you for stopping by StoneCottageAdventures.blogspot.com and leaving a comment. Thank you, also, for linking to HIS LAMB I AM giveaway. Your blog is absolutely beautiful! -Marci

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  4. Hang in there my sweet friend. If you need us we are here to lift you up when you are feeling down and out. Don't worry about you post. We know you are human and we all need to throw stuff out there and get it off of our chests. I will keep you in my prayers. I hope you have a wonderfully quite, creative and fun day full of blue lights shoved down others pants. Giggle giggle. It was funny and so something my little man would and has done. Love ya hug hug

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  5. I think it's important to get your fears out in the open and blogging is a safe haven. You can share what you need to and know that the people reading will be thinking of you. Good luck and you will be in my thoughts. www.thenymelrosefamily.blogspot.com

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  6. If you are worried enough that it is hindering your day, then just call them. They cannot withhold information from you like that - ie "What are you testing for?" - "what are my options?" - "what should I be doing" - "Is there anything else I should be looking for and why?"

    I will say that I was tested for MS too and from my experience, its hard not to worry. There are a lot of "what if's" that run through your head and there is practically no way of stopping them until you have the results in hand.

    I will pray that all comes back fine.

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  7. Hang in there. Health issues are always so difficult because you don't know quite what's going on, symptoms can be confusing, etc. I think it's great that you're putting your thoughts down. Use your crochet to keep you relaxed. Sending warm thoughts ...

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  8. I have MS, and it took a LOOOOONG time to be diagnosed. I had symptoms for about 10 years before it was "official." So, even though it might not show up on the MRI, you could still be having symptoms. I pray you get though this time of unknowing peacefully, and that you will get the comfort that you need through a definitive diagnosis. E-mail me with questions, if you would like.

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  9. Praying for you. Playing the waiting game is never easy.

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  10. I just want to say a big thank you to you all! You have made me feel 100% better about things! I asked what the letter said and it said that i do have a loss of nerve function. Now I know that I won't know any answers before the tests I am happier and am going to get on with living and deal with whatever happens!

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